Why We're Not A Cult
Yes, it's true—in the past, we've been accused of being a cult. Ironically, one group that ran a smear campaign against us turned out to be a cult themselves! But we forgive those who dragged our name through the mud and damaged our reputation. When something as paradigm-shifting as Vanderstank comes along, people sometimes react in strange ways.
For anybody still unsure, here's 3 very distinct reasons we're not a cult:
We never ask for money.
If anyone ever asks you for money in regards to your Vanderstank membership, report them to us immediately. There is no membership fee of any kind.
We don't worship our leader
Cults usually revolve around the person who started it. Sometimes they're even called Cults of Personality. But we don't worship our founder, the great and honorable Dr. Triestananas Vanderstank, nor our current President Brodona Floya—they're just normal, everyday people, and we want you to see that.
We don't punish people for leaving.
While we do think it's ridiculous that anybody would want to leave such a kind and loving Family, there is no penalty for doing so. A cult would do everything in their power to prevent people from leaving. Not us! You are free to make that stupid, reckless, dangerous decision if you want.
We hope you'll help us spread the word to anyone who doubts us. Lies, slander, and smear campaigns can happen to anyone, and they've certainly happened to us, so please do your part to help. Thank you!